A Fairly Average Pokemon Fanfic
by Kojiro1
Summary: Team Rocket vs. Satoshi-tachi in a deadly game of... volleyball.... I've just shifted this from another catogory. C&C please!


A Fairly Average Pokémon Fanfic  
By Blue  
  
Disclaimer: Not mine, not mine, not mine! It's all Nintendo's, Game Freak's, and a million other bits.  
Overview: During a day at the beach, Satoshi-tachi turn evil, and try to steal Nyase. It should be a comedy, if my stuffy British humour will allow.  
This is my first fanfic, so don't expect much! I'm English, so when it comes to it, I'm going to use English spellings. Deal with it, that's how the spell checker operates. However, I'm using Japanese names. No suffixes, I'm afraid, I can't do them and I'm not going to try, I'd only look like an idiot. Oh, and I didn't know Nurse Joy's Japanese name, so I left it as Joy. Ahem. @^_^@  
If you like, hate, want more, want less, whatever, email me at dittoblue30@yahoo.co.uk  
  
Three figures are standing on one of Seafoam island's many exotic beaches. White sand and blue seas surround them. Anybody else would be in complete luxury, but not these three.  
"Nyase wants a Double Chocolate Magnum!" screeched a high-pitched voice, piecing the perfect silence.  
"Argh! We're not here for ice cream!" snapped a female voice. There was a thwack, almost like the sound of a paper fan hitting somebody sharply.  
"Actually, ice cream sounds quite good. We were pedalling that submarine for hours!" This was a third voice, whining more than the last two. There was the noise again, followed by a squeal of "Oww! That hurt!"  
"At least it wasn't da bazooka." retorted the first voice.  
Musashi was thoroughly fed up. Kojiro was right, they had been pedalling for some time. It took them another half-hour to hide the damn awkward thing. It's hard enough to conceal something that big, never mind the fact that it was Gyrados shaped.   
"Can't we relax for a while? Pleeease?" wheedled Kojiro. All he wanted was a nice long rest. After several failed attempts to catch Pikachu, he was feeling a bit depressed, as anybody would who had lost repeatedly to a ten year old dumbass with a statically-charged rat and a lot of blind luck. Musashi softened.   
"OK. For a while. But we have to remember why we're here, so keep your eyes peeled for that twerp. I need to top up my tan anyway." She whipped off her uniform to reveal a black bikini underneath. Kojiro did the same.   
"Ahh! Nyase doesn't wanna see dis!" the cat Pokémon wailed. "No cross-dressing today!"  
"Spoilsport. Can I keep the sarong?" asked Kojiro.  
"NO!"  
Musashi rolled her eyes at her two colleagues. She really did wonder about that boy. Nice legs, though. If he had a good black dress, the drape could be sorted out to really flatter his figure. She coughed abruptly, shook herself, and pulled out three towels from the bulky beach bag. She also found, to her disgust, a red plastic bucket and a similar spade. Sighing, she tossed them aside, and began to lay out their towels on the beach.  
  
=^0^=  
  
Meanwhile, Satoshi and company were wandering aimlessly towards the beach.  
"I wonder where Team Rocket are?" mused Kasumi. "They've usually interfered by now."  
Satoshi laughed. "Maybe they've given up! They know they can't separate Pikachu and me! Hah hah!"  
"Pika chu pika…" Pikachu replied (Translation: I hope they do, before I pull Satoshi's head off...). He leapt up onto his shoulders, thought better of it, and continued to walk alongside Takeshi.   
"I've been thinking about that. What would happen if we decided to strike first?" said Takeshi. "A pre-emptive strike?" asked Kasumi. "A what? Is that a new type of Pokémon attack?" Satoshi asked eagerly. Pikachu cursed under his breath. It had been a long year since Satoshi had taken him, and it showed no signs of getting any better. Kasumi blanked Satoshi completely. "What for? They have nothing we want. Except that cute little sparkly number Kojiro has."  
"Not that. What about their Nyase? I bet a Pokémon researcher would pay a bundle to study a talking Pokemon." suggested Takeshi.   
"I think Kojiro and Musashi would pay us to take it."  
"How about we try it, then? I've always wanted to be evil." Takeshi grinned unpleasantly. Kasumi replied with a similar grin. "Hey, and if we get caught, we can pin the blame on Satoshi. Say he was the mastermind behind it all." They both looked at Satoshi, who was looking into the middle distance, practising his `I caught a Pokémon!` poses. He was muttering Pokémon names under his breath, a familiar vacant expression on his face.  
"Sounds like a plan!" Takeshi agreed. Pikachu nodded happily. "Chu!"   
  
=^0^=  
  
Musashi finished off her ice cream. As she licked the stick clean of any chocolate remains, she watched Nyase and Kojiro playing in the sand with the tiny bucket and spade. She pushed her glasses onto the top of her head and settled down to watch. They were engaged in a death-match for the spade. "I want it! I want to dig for Shelders!" yelled Kojiro. "No way! I wanna make a sand-castle!" screamed Nyase, snatching the spade and scratch-attacking his opponent. "Hey!" said Kojiro, patting the red scratches on his face. "Weezing, go! Sludge attack him!"   
"Wee-zing!" wheezed the poison Pokémon.  
"Calling on your toxic balloon to help you? No way! Dat spade is mine!" Nyase dodged a sludge attack with relative ease, and aimed a scratch at one of Weezing's faces.  
Musashi sighed as the battle raged on. One colleague, old enough to know better, wanted a small plastic spade that had the capacity of a dessert spoon and the digging power of a dead Tentacool. The other colleague wanted to make sand-castles. No doubt ones with moats. She pushed her sunglasses back onto her nose and snuggled down further into her beach towel, looking up at the sky, deep in thought. A distinctive yowling told her that one or the other had successfully dug a hole with the spade and buried the other one in it. Watching Nyase walking past her, a triumphant grin on his face, holding the plastic digger aloft, she decided she probably had to go and dig Kojiro out. She got to her feet slowly, annoyed that her peace had been ruined.  
"Nyase, do you remember where you buried him?"  
"Uhh…"  
  
=^0^=  
  
Satoshi-tachi were crouched behind a sand bank, watching our heroes. "Funny how we could find them so fast." murmured Takeshi under his breath.   
"The bad guys always can. Artistic license, isn't it?" whispered Kasumi. "Let's get to it."  
The terrible trio leapt out from behind the bank to face Team Rocket, posing furiously.   
"We're here for your Nyase!" yelled Satoshi. "and you can't stop us, because we have the ultimate weapon!"  
Musashi got to her feet. She and Nyase had been crouched in front of a hole in the sand. She turned to them. For her credit, she didn't laugh out loud at their poses and fake menacing manner. She kept a straight face, but barely. "What's that? One of your three Pokémon?" she asked dryly.   
"Yeah, a turtle, a tulip bulb and a rat." sneered Nyase. Kojiro would have used a snide comeback too, if he wasn't busy climbing out of the hole and spitting out sand.  
"What's wrong with my-" began Satoshi indignantly.  
"We have Satoshi's blind luck on our side! Now hand over the Nyase, twerp, before we get nasty!" interrupted Kasumi. She added a small "Grr" on the end, for effect.  
"WE never growl!" spluttered Kojiro. Nyase looked around worriedly.   
"Nyase? Why me?"   
Kojiro, half in, half out of the hole, began to consider the prospect of growling. He couldn't recall it being in any Team Rocket booklets. "Grr?" he offered meekly.  
"Forget that!" snarled Musashi, striking a pose of her own. "We want that Pikachu!"  
"Pika! Pika!" cheered Pikachu (translation: Take me! Please!).  
"We're not getting anywhere here!" interjected Kasumi. She looked round to Takeshi, who was being uncharacteristically quiet. "Uhh…" he mumbled, staring at Musashi in her slinky black bikini. He was drooling slightly, she noticed. "AH-hem!" she coughed loudly. "Uhh, yeah, we're here for your bi- err, Nyase. Umm. My, you look g-good today, M-Musashi…" Takeshi said, in a hypnotic trance. Kasumi sighed. She'd have to take over.  
"How about a volleyball match? You win, you get Pikachu. We win, we get Nyase." She pulled a pose she had seen Musashi use last week. Satoshi nudged Takeshi until he posed too.  
"Sounds good." Said Kojiro, now free of the hole and most of the sand, and posing alongside his team mates. Satoshi-tachi posed at a quicker pace.   
Nyase and Pikachu watched the maddening posing battle. "Sure, it's all posing fun until somebody pulls a muscle."  
  
=^0^=  
  
A small crowd was gathering at the centre of the beach, where a volleyball net had been set up. An bikini-clad Officer Junsa arrived at the scene to disperse the crowd, as did a similarly outfitted Nurse Joy. At one side of the net was Musashi, Kojiro and Nyase. At the other side was Satoshi, Takeshi, Kasumi and Pikachu. The net had finally been hoisted onto the poles by Kasumi after a few attempts by Satoshi and Kojiro had resulted in a tangled mess of net, sand and Kojiro.   
"We need a forth person to make things even." said Musashi. At that moment, Officer Junsa burst through the crowd. "What's going on here? Do you have a permit for beach sports?" she demanded.  
"How perfectly convenient." sniggered Kojiro. Musashi grabbed her arm and pulled her into the team. "How would you like to participate in the game of the century?" Musashi asked, leading her away.   
"No fair! Pikachu can't play! He barely has arms!" screamed Kasumi. She received a fierce electric shock her trouble, and Pikachu stomped off to the side of the net, stubby arms folded in defiance. "Now we need a fourth!" whined Satoshi to Takeshi, who, when he had finally recovered from the appearance of Junsa in a bikini, spotted Nurse Joy. Dashing up, Takeshi eagerly recruited her to Team Pikachu.  
The game was now set. Pikachu and Takeshi's Vulpix watched from the sidelines. "First to five points! Team Pikachu versus Team Nyase! Let's make this quick, people!" yelled Junsa. Vulpix blew Junsa's whistle, and the game began.  
The first and second points went to Team Pikachu, as a spike by Joy sailed the ball into the centre of the court. Both Musashi and Kojiro screamed "I got it! I got it!" and failed to get it as each thought the other had it. This happened twice before they got the hang of it.   
A vicious return by Nyase gained a point for his team, as Takeshi was momentarily distracted by Junsa jumping up and down for the ball.   
Kasumi gained the next point for Team Pikachu by rebounding the ball off Junsa's head.   
Taking revenge, Junsa did the same to Kasumi, gaining Team Nyase's second point.   
A third followed as Kojiro slammed the ball to the ground before Satoshi could reach it.   
An excellent serve by Kasumi took Team Pikachu one point away from victory. This was quickly equalised by Nyase, who served to Satoshi. Satoshi fumbled clumsily with the ball, and dropped it.   
Now the score was four all. A sudden-death round, Team Nyase to serve. Musashi took it, grinning evilly. She was known at Pokemon Tech for her power serves.  
From the side, Vulpix watched. Its eyes flickered from  
-Musashi, still grinning as she pulled back her arm, and brought it crashing forward towards the ball  
-to Kojiro, sweatdropping, trying to make himself as small as possible to avoid the famed power serve  
-to Nyase, willing the ball over the net and onto the ground to spare his skin. And internal organs, and bones, too. You never know with scientists.  
-to Officer Junsa, watching the ball's path over the net with wide eyes  
-to Nurse Joy, wishing desperately that she hadn't agreed to help the drooling Takeshi  
-to Kasumi, who had already guessed the outcome of this serve, and had edged out of the way  
-to Takeshi, who hadn't even noticed that Musashi was serving, but had noticed the delightful way in which she was moving  
-to Satoshi, Musashi's target.  
Vulpix watched the ball bounce painfully onto his head, sending him reeling backwards onto Takeshi, Joy and Kasumi, who hadn't been quick enough. Vulpix shrugged non-commitidly and went to sleep.  
Musashi and Kojiro did a long victory dance, Kojiro even breaking into a chorus of `Lucky Lucky.`   
Kasumi growled again. She pointed at Nyase, who was still dancing around in circles.   
"I don't care if you won!" she yelled. "We're taking that Nyase! Pikachu, thundershock!" Pikachu shrugged, a difficult thing for a creature with no shoulders, and prepared to thundershock as Team Pikachu advanced menacingly. Thinking quickly, Kojiro pulled back the volleyball net and held it, the tension in the taut strings increasing. "By-ee!" he giggled, letting go and allowing the net to snap back. Team Pikachu realised at that moment that they were standing to close to the-  
"Looks like Satoshi-tachi's blasting off again!" Ping.  
Kojiro beamed with pride at his strategy. Beside him, Musashi seethed.   
"You do realise that you just blasted off our prize Pikachu, don't you?" growled Musashi.  
"Ah. Oh. Umm…" Kojiro prepared himself for an imminent blow to the head. He found himself vaguely wondering whether it would be the fan or the mallet this time. He internally bet on the mallet.   
He was right.  
  
=^0^=  
  
  
  
That's it, then. It's as average as the title suggests, but I think I'll improve as time goes on. Or at least, I hope so. Like the Nyase smileys inbetween the paragraphs?   
The email again, because I get few important emails, and I want comments! dittoblue30@yahoo.co.uk  
I'm stopping now, with a little quote from MST3K:  
  
Prince of Space: Ha ha ha!  
Krankor: And now I'm going to kill you!  
Servo:(as P of S) Ha ha! -oh.  
  
=^0^=  



End file.
